A number of siblings become friends with each other,
but it is quite common to see siblings fight and argue over matters ranging from toys to attention.
Sibling rivalry is not a new phenomenon and has its positives as well as negatives. Many consider sibling
rivalry to be a sign of a healthy family. Another benefit of sibling rivalry is that it teaches conflict
resolution skills to children at an early age, thereby proving to be beneficial in the future.
Even though many consider sibling rivalry to be healthy, there are times when constant fighting and arguing
between the children can affect the entire atmosphere of the house.
It is therefore important as a parent to know how to manage such situations, and how to resolve them
effectively.
As a parent, your role should be to guide the children and to encourage them to resolve their situations
themselves. It is therefore important that you do not intervene in the fighting or arguing unless there is a
risk of physical harm to the children.
You should create a situation wherein the children are forced to think for themselves in order to reach a settlement.
Certain situations might get out of control with the siblings fighting aggressively. In such situations it is
best to separate the children until they are calm before asking them to resolve with the situation. This will
eliminate any chances of the fight escalating during the settlement process.
While overseeing the resolution process it is important to ensure that one child is not being bullied by the
other into submission. Doing so will not only help resolve the situation effectively, but will also be
beneficial to the children in the future. A child who submits too easily might also be exploited easily in
the future.
Similarly, a bully might get used to taking advantage of others. In order to avoid such extreme behaviours in
your children you should train them on conflict resolution skills from an early age.
Sibling rivalry can occur beyond children of the same age group; rivalry between teenagers and smaller
children is also not uncommon. One of the main reasons for this is that teenagers are generally very
possessive about their things.
When younger siblings unknowingly infringe upon their privacy, teenagers are bound to get agitated. Such a situation
would require your intervention, and you should take one-on-one sessions with both the siblings to prevent
such quarrels in the future.
The world is not fair, and it is important for your children to learn this at an early age. You should not
worry too much about treating each sibling equally since this will prevent them from learning an important
lesson in life.
However, this does not mean that you should deliberately discriminate between your children, only that you
should not be too concerned about whether or not your children are getting equal attention from you.
Sibling rivalry is a natural phenomenon and is bound to occur at some stage; however, you can create an
environment wherein the children learn valuable lessons from their quarrels.
Giving proper attention to each child and maintaining a harmonious environment in the house will ensure that
sibling rivalry turns into love and affection in the future.
Photo courtesy of sxc / hortongrou
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